In case any of you guys were wondering about how I’m typing this, because my days of typing on the computer keyboard are pretty much a thing of the past. I am lucky enough to have a freaking incredible brother in law that gave me a tablet with a s pen that makes typing a little easier. I can only do it lying on my bed because the angle of sitting in my chair does not work so in the immortal words of Oasis, I’m going to start a revaluation from my bed! With the cold weather starting to set in my hands start falling off after a little while so if this comes out a bit discombobulated, I apologize.
I have been stuck in a place of not feeling like doing anything (so being lazy) mixed with my dodgy body is just exhausted at times and dodgy neck, back to and shoulder giving me carrots mixed with my mind that becomes a train wreck at times and I can’t switch it off and I have 73 million and 847 thousand ideas and stuff I think I must do and stuff I’d love to do, but I never get a chance or get up off my lazy butt to do anything. Also because of all this I’ve felt a little depression and boat loads of anxiety and frustration creeping in. So I just do nothing and this just kills my soul. One of the (many) things is I want to start a blog sharing my maybe different perspectives, seeing as though I look at life from a different angle than the majority of my peers. I have tried in the resent past but only got a page or so done.. So even if I only get a few paragraphs a day down, I’ll feel like I’m moving forward. Even a little bit of movement is still movement!
A major factor in my bit of all fall down moment or moments is before this bat flu madness I was about to pull the trigger on something that’s been rolling around my head for years. This has had a major impact on my sense of self worth and I’ve been doing a massive revaluation of my purpose. Some friends of mine, we all share the same name (we loosely dubbed it the triple A project) were starting a project with the muscular dystrophy foundation to get computers and tablets for their members and if we got traction we could do this for other disabled kids and people. I have seen huge value and benefits of this type of technology in my life and believe these are like windows into the outside world for us disabled guys. (pun not intended) I had meetings with the MDF and one of the A’s has another business contact that could potentially get a percentage of this equipment donated. My other friend Andrew (most of you know him, Andrew Miller) had written press releases and the web site blurb, along with project outlines and motivation. Talking about a website, my china Ty (he made my website for Dissecting Wobbles) was going to do another one for me. Having to put all this on the back burner, and looking at the world’s economy at present, and it’s potential worsening and seeing NPO’s bleed at times like this it’s been an exceptionally difficult thing to deal with. I have to adapt to the, at the risk of stealing words from the media, adapt to the new normal.
The A’s and I have been thinking about ways to incorporate this into something that can help more people than just us defective body guys. Maybe we’ll have to change directions for a bit? I really don’t know. So who knows what the future holds.
I told a friend of mine about this ‘procrastination quandary’ and she recommended that I read a book (I haven’t read it yet so I can’t recommend it. It’s on my list) she sent me a few photos of an extracts though. He says when faced with something seemingly insurmountable or you don’t exactly know how to tackle it, that one must just do something. So if it’s something like this blog I must just get going, even if I don’t know exactly what I’m doing or what it’s going to turn into. The momentum will inspire me to put more and more words down. I’ve seen this in the past too, if I work at or on something, even if I didn’t use it or it was rubbish it still taught me just by doing it and maybe gave me ideas for future projects or the one I was working on. The momentum engaging my brain.
So onwards we walk.